Moraea here. So, my female humie probably had other plans for her blog this week. Like some dreary treatise on all the yummy snacks rabbits aren’t allowed to eat because it’ll make them fat. Anyway, she left the keyboard unattended and her desk chair out, and I’ve got something much more important to tell you:
It’s my bunniversary!
So this post is all about me.
It’s been four years since I started working here but it seems like a lifetime ago. I was just a kit! My earliest memory is being homeless and jobless, with cars rushing past, feeling scared. Some humans came, picked me up, brought me to a shelter. There, they got me back on my paws, helped me put together a pet resume, and advertised me as available.
For months I was cooped up in a series of studio apartments, subjected to an endless series of job interviews. Humans would come stare at me and say “What’s wrong with her eyes?” For fluff’s sake, there’s nothing wrong with them! They’re rubies, not your boring little brown or blue eyes.
Well, none of them wanted to hire me. Why not? So what if I’m not some glamourous blue-eyed, lop-eared Rex breed? I outshine them all as Miss Congeniality!
Back then, my humies used to visit me as “rescue volunteers.” They’d bring me toys and treats, and give me some rugs to run around and stretch my legs. It kept my spirits up while I waited. Best of all, they’d give me pets. I love having my forehead stroked, and the fur on my back gently ruffled. When they visited I could care less about any kind of treat. Food, schmood! All I wanted was to settle in for a snuggle.
Eventually they offered me a temporary gig. They called it “fostering.” I was more than happy to accept. It was a relief to have some space and lots more affection. But shortly after I arrived a permanent job opened up so I grabbed it and never looked back.
Life here has been great — with the notable exception of the recent “weight watchers” fad. Must be my co-worker: Finnegan. He looks like he could stand to lose a few pounds! Why I have to be involved is a mystery, though.
Fortunately, bunniversaries give you a bit of leverage. We got puzzle toys this morning with little bits of fresh apple in them. It’s not Finnegan’s bunniversary, but he got one anyway. My humie says it helps “keep the peace around here.” At least it kept Finny from diving in like a bird of prey and stealing my toy. I don’t often manage to regain ownership once he absconds across the room with one. The scoundrel!
OK, Finnegan’s not that bad a guy overall. I mean, I was having a blast working solo when he came along. Next thing I know I’m sharing a cramped ex-pen of an office with this chunky, pushy dude. He’s trying to mansplain everything and be in charge all the time. We really got into some squabbles at first, including a certain ahem biting incident which landed me in the emergency room getting stitches.
But I get it. He was stressed out from all that job interview stuff, too. I think he felt bad about it and we don’t speak of it. All’s forgiven and it’s been swell having a co-worker. I’ve come to enjoy the part of the job where we snuggle up nose-to-nose in the evenings, so our humies can coo and giggle at us. And just between you and me, I do get the lion’s share of the grooming in this relationship.
The pay here’s not bad. My humies show their appreciation for all the hard work I do with lots of tasty bonuses. Now that I’ve got space to explore and constant companionship, I seem to be hungry all the time! I’ll eat pretty much whatever they offer, from fresh greens to dried petals. My favorites are the bunny cookies and dried cranberries, though we only get those on special occasions. But no matter how nice the food is, I still looooooove when the humies pet me. It’s just as good as getting a snack. Well, almost.
As for the facilities, they’re pretty posh. I spend most of my working hours in the big open space they call the living room — it’s well-appointed with low-pile rugs for good traction. You can really run and binky when you’re in the mood! But I’ll still take a little skate around the slippery kitchen now and then. Usually to see why it’s taking so long for my humie to deliver an overdue snack. It’s not uncommon to find a bit of fruit or a carrot peeling scattered on the floor in there. I take my floor-food cleanup duties very seriously.
Although I’m working almost 24×7, I still try to keep fit. My favorite workout spot is a place the humies call “The Tunnel.” It’s a long warren run that’s full of clods to dig through. There’s something deeply satisfying about forging into that long, dark passage and kicking stuff around, sending it flying out the ends. Plus, it’s a great upper body and abs workout!
Last but not least there’s plenty of opportunity for scholarship. I even took an advanced “dead retrieve” class. “Dead retrieve” is where there’s a thing, and it’s far away, and you have to go find it and bring it to a human and let go of it. Soooo complicated, I know! It was months of work, studying every day. I got confused sometimes, but I stuck with it and kept practicing until I mastered it. Here I am on graduation day.
I really enjoy learning new stuff. But sometimes the professors frustrate me. When that happens, I just hop out of class and lay down.
Lately my favorite hobby is training my humies. I’ve been able to teach them to drop what they’re doing and rush over to give me a treat when I leap up on the cardboard boxes in the middle of the living room. I hope they appreciate the effort I make to keep their bodies active and minds workinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
Oops! sorry about that. All this typing made me sleepy. It’s past my nap time! I’d better wrap this up and send it before humie notices.
The Fluffy Tail of This Blog Post
As you can see I lead a very full life for a house rabbit. I’ve got a hunky bun pal, lots of free-roaming space, and a full-time job being super cute and snuggly. If you’ve enjoyed reading about my life, I hope you’ll leave me a Happy Bunniversary message in the comments.