He was a beautiful silver-gray lop whose deep brown eyes seemed almost lost in the drape of his ears. Silky soft, he was only too happy to let my fingers gently stroke him for as long as I liked. I’d never had a lop, always wanted one. He was perfect. There was just one hitch.
DEAR FLLOP: Unfortunately, yes. But take heart! These simple etiquette guidelines should put you in good bunny graces.
It emerges with no warning, clattering out of dark closets, the strange, shiny, hairless creature. Roaring incessantly – deafeningly – never stopping, not even to take a breath. It lurches menacingly around every room in the house, raging in and out of every nook and corner. It’s terrifying! The bane of house bunny existence: The Vacuum Cleaner.
But there is hope, fellow lagomorphs: we too used to fear this gruesome monster. But now when he appears, not only don’t we mind, we kind of enjoy it! If you’re still living in fear of Vacuumasaurus, tell your humans to read this article.
Moraea and Finnegan
<KNOCK> <KNOCK> <KNOCK>!
“Police! Open up!” (Door cracks open) “Afternoon, sir. We have reason to believe you’re keeping a pet guinea pig.”
“Yes, Herschel. Want to help me brush him? You’ll have to be gentle.”
“Just the one pig, is it?”
“Only the Herschinator!“
“In that case, I’m afraid you’ll have to come with us.”